Thursday, February 28, 2008

643. Requiem

This has been reported on other blogs, but I would be remiss if I did not point it out to my handfuls of readers:

Bagel-fuls.

Frozen bagels already stuffed with cream cheese, to free us from the arduous task of applying the schmear by ourselves.

I can only weep. I have eaten frozen bagels and they, sir, are no bagels. Last week, out of boredom and possibly drugged without my knowledge, I bought a bagel-shaped object to accompany my coffee at Starbucks. Afterwards I wished I had chosen to eat my NY Times, instead.

Bagels have always retained a hint of defiance for me. My grandfather was a baker, and his union did not like the bagel-baker's union; I don't recall a bagel gracing our household until I was a teenager. I think the act, for my mother, was like crossing a picket line. My first surreptitious bite occurred at a friend's house, and I soon became an addict.

In New York these days the best diners are Greek, the best fruit markets Korean, and the best bagels, IMHO, Thai: Absolute Bagels. They are fluffy and small, unlike the modified bricks I used to savor. My challah-loving grandfather would approve, labor disputes aside. I fear he is at this very moment rolling over in his grave regarding Bagel-fuls.

5 comments:

rbarenblat said...

Growing up in south Texas, I was a bagel snob; I learned from my parents that Lender's bagels, frozen and small, weren't the real thing. When my parents traveled to New York, they took along an extra duffel bag, and filled it on the day of their departure with 12 dozen fresh bagels. As soon as they got home, the bagels went into ziplog bags and into our fullsized freezer; that way we could thaw them a couple at a time, and enjoy real New York bagels (tm) until our supply ran out...

alto artist said...

Excellent! (And that is not being a bagel snob--just being really, really smart.)

--aa.

Regina Clare Jane said...

Hee hee hee... now I'm hungry...
Honestly, it's as bad as the p-nut butter and jelly in one jar!
:)

Claire Joy said...

So all those bagel w/schmear lovers (forgive my Gentile spelling ignorance) will have to scrape their bagels? I like mine toasted before the cream cheese... I predict product failure.

alto artist said...

Spelled right! (and, who really knows how to transliterate this word, anyway?). And agreed--it is an idea up there with the Edsel or New Coke.

--aa.