I'm most definitely still here, in case anyone was wondering. On Monday I came down with a cold... which turned into sinus problems... which I think turned into a sinus infection, although I haven't been to the doctor yet. And which also turned into a toothache, don't ask, and hopefully the dentist will fix that on Monday. But I've spent this past week thinking a lot more about Advil than chanting, although whenever I could breathe have been cramming to learn two aliyot of Parashat Metzorah (the fun parts about dirty bedding and plagues on walls). I am very grateful that physical imperfections no longer make us tamei, or else I would have to recuse myself from reading those aliyot.
Shabbat Shalom, and here's to the miracle of painkillers.
Wishing you comfort this Shabbat!
It increasingly seems to me that one of the truths hidden in parashiyot Tazria and Metzora is that when we are sick or afflicted or in pain, we are unable to enter God's presence fully -- not because we're tamei and forbidden from entering, but because we're unable to draw near wholly on account of our suffering.
So I wish you liberation from that suffering, speedily!
Thank you so much for these wishes (which I have no doubt will come true relatively soon)!
And thank you also for your great post at Radical Torah on this topic, which I just read. I agree--partly. Two years ago, when I led Rosh Hashanah services while I had laryngitis, and three years ago when I led at Yom Kippur with a fever, I know I was focusing so much on myself that God's presence had very little room to enter. On the other hand, however, never have I felt so strongly the sensation of being bouyed by the strength of my community, who knew I was struggling. And that means God was helping, as well. It felt like a new and different kind of awareness, one manifest only when you're cut off from the ability to feel/respond as usual.
Oh, you poor thing... it sounds yucky alright.
I think suffering brings you closer to God- doesn't it? I guess it can go both ways for some.
Anyhoo- I hope you feel better soon!
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