Alas, the original post has been flagged for removal (maybe they found what they were looking for), but hat tip to both Chaviva and Memoirs of a Jewminicana for pointing out this brilliant Craigslist ad:
Looking for Rabbi Versed in DARK TALMUDIC ARTS to create GOLEM. (Astoria, NY)
One Rabbi versed in the Dark Talmudic Arts to create one Golem for household of three. Golem will perform rudimentary household chores such as dishes & sweeping, basic Math Tutoring for our daughter in 3rd grade and basic household security. Golem must be obedient and fairly unobtrusive on our every-day lives.
We will supply all materials needed (clay, twigs, calfskin parchment, etc) needed to create the Golem. All you need to do is use your magical ancient Rabbinic skills to animate said Golem!
Please note! We are looking for a Rabbi to create a Golem: an anthropomorphic being created from intimate matter from Jewish folk-lore, NOT Gollum: a former Hobbit turned into monster and looking for "precious". This is important! We have no interest in living with Gollum. We want a Golem. Please respond, serious inquiry only.
Location: Astoria, NY
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay
I could use one of these, if only to help with the vaccuming. I hate to vacuum.