A few words during a pause in the marathon... this morning, services for Shemini Atzeret and tonight, hours and hours of dancing for Simhat Torah, to be followed by more dancing tomorrow morning, and the honor I'm receiving. I am very, very happy, but also a little sad. In my gratitude and awe at all the doors that have opened for me these past years, the amazing fullness of my journey, as I acknowledge and celebrate the good, I can't help but notice the empty places, too. God separated day from night, but sometimes the difference between tears of joy and of sadness is not as clear. On this holiday we read the prayer for rain, "geshem;" the rabbi noted that this word also shares a root with another, "gashmiyut," meaning concreteness, realness. We leave the past weeks of vows and promises to re-enter a place where we must put our dreams to work. We ask for rain to grow our crops, but know it will also come, like different kinds of tears, in the form of storms and floods. Our guide to the messy, wonderful, confusing and real days ahead: the Torah, the last symbol of the last holiday in this cycle.
Enough writing before I explode from emotion (which wouldn't be too great for this laptop... I need it in good working order to write about what happens next). My cup--my ocean--overflows. Hag Sameah!