16. Ridiculous

Chanting Torah was a completely foreign concept; I had never even entertained the idea of entertaining it. How could I, in good conscience, stand in front of my community and pretend to tell a story in which I didn't understand 99% of the words? Going up to the bima was also intimidating. I felt unworthy of being near the Torah scroll; my knees shook on the few occasions when I was part of a group aliyah.